The adults role; what can we do?

• Support children in developing positive relationships by challenging negative comments and actions towards either peers or adults

• Use the child’s name. This helps to gain focus.

• Use body language. Ensure your body language is not threatening. No child should feel threatened.

• Examples of negative methods would be pointing/ waving fingers at the child, not getting to the child’s level and standing above them, using aggression/ temper in tone, using physical contact to gain a child’s attention in the form of wrist holding.

• Demonstrate clear and consistent boundaries and reasonable yet challenging expectations

• Help children to recognise when their actions hurt others. Be wary of expecting children to say ‘sorry’ before they have a real understanding of what this means. Insisting the word is used may result in your child using this to as a method of avoiding discussion which will help their understanding of the reasons why you are correcting certain behaviours

• Name and talk about a wide range of feelings and make it clear that all feelings are understandable and acceptable, including feeling angry, but that not all behaviours are.

• Model how you label and manage your own feelings, e.g. ‘I’m feeling a bit angry and I need to calm down, so I’m

going to…’

• Be alert to injustices and let siblings see that they are addressed and resolved.

• Affirm and praise positive behaviour, explaining that it makes children and adults feel happier.

• Encourage children to think about issues from the viewpoint of others.

• Ensure that children have opportunities to identify and discuss boundaries, so that they understand why they are there and what they are intended to achieve

• Model being fair, e.g. when choosing children for special jobs.

• Ask children for their ideas on what might make people feel better when they are sad or cross.

• Talk about fair and unfair situations, children’s feelings about fairness, and how we can make things fair.

• Most importantly. We as adults  are responsible for demonstrating and supporting our own house and setting rules.

• Use resources and teaching. Children do not automatically know how to behave it is your role to teach them.

• Our role is to support behaviour not manage behaviour. Early intervention is necessary.